Why do relationships fail? You may be tempted to say that relationships fail due to the absence of love. However, this begs another question—how did the relationship occur in the first place if there was the absence of love?
Absence of love is impossible because we would never enter a relationship that does not have its foundation based on love. Instead of absence of love, perhaps you should understand that neglect, lack of caring, a breakdown of communication, and inability to change condemn make it inevitable for the relationship to fail.
Inability to Change
We are changing all the time. From all the galaxies and stars in the universe to the atoms in our body—everything is changing constantly. Yet, we are afraid of change and rarely succeed in recognizing the need for change in our relationship.
You may have met your partner when he/she was a gangly 16-year old teenager. Do you really think that he/she won’t change with time? There may have been a time when going on a long drive with you may have been his/her favorite activity. Today, your partner may be more ambitious and may want to focus on the career instead.
From physical changes to changes in the way the mind works—it is very important to anticipate, identify, and understand how your relationship is changing. Only then will you be in a position to modify your own behavior to ensure the relationship does not fall apart.
Breakdown of Communication
As time goes by, people in relationships stop communicating and end up simply conversing instead. Conversation refers to general chit-chat that is so easy to do if you know the other person and are aware of some common areas of interest.
Communication, which is to really convey what you feel and think and is followed by a frank and free exchange of views on some important topics can be a lot tougher. This is particularly true for those topics about your shared life where you and your partner are not in agreement with each other.
Communication is not easy. It requires patience, tact, and a fair bit of diplomatic maneuvering. It requires you to say what you have on your mind but, equally importantly, requires you to listen to what the other person has to say.
As time goes by, people simply stop communicating and this is often why relationships die.
Just like a plant will shrivel and die without water, your relationship will shrivel and die due to neglect. People often believe that hatred kills a relationship. Why would you suddenly start hating somebody whom you loved for a long time? That is absurd. What really happens is that you stop caring for the other person. You find other priorities in life. And you end up neglecting your partner.
As you both stop caring for each other, love is replaced by indifference, and finally, hate. So, you must remember that hate is the consequence of a broken relationship and not its cause. What the real cause is neglect, indifference, and a gradual drifting apart of the persons in the relationship.
So, now that we have understood the factors that cause a relationship to fail, let us look at some actionable tips that will help you rekindle the love in your relationship.
Make an Effort
Make it a point to do something that will make your partner very happy. Now, make it a point to do this every single day of your life ahead. You may feel that this exercise is very simple and easy. You can send flowers on the first day, chocolates on the second, and simply continue like this.
Well, chances are high that you will be struggling for ideas by the end of the week. What makes your partner really happy? You will be forced to mull on this question. The more you think about it, the faster you will realize that you need to know him/her better, and this will have a huge impact on your relationship.
Reach a Happy Place
You cannot keep your partner happy unless you too are in a happy place. Are you frustrated with your life? Worried about your job? Unhappy with your career? Then, it will be impossible for you to have a happy relationship. This may not be easy but your relationship deserves your best efforts.
Distance Boosts Affection
Your relationship may be in trouble if your partner is your sole friend, philosopher, and guide. A bit of distance can be a good thing for your relationship. Give yourself and your partner a bit of individual space.