Breakups can be devastating, especially in cases when it was not a mutual decision. Even if you are reeling from the reality that all the hard work you put in the relationship and any hope for the future with your ex are now gone, you still have hope.
Most breakups are not terminal. It is totally possible for you to rekindle your relationship, especially if you know how to handle the break-up period. Read on to know you can survive a breakup and hopefully, get your ex back.
How to Get Your Ex Back
Accept that it’s over.
Once the relationship is over, you have to accept that it’s over. For the time being, anyway. This means that you need to refrain from communicating with your ex through any means, from texts to calls and even emails. Acceptance is the first step towards creating a new kind of normal that can help you do the next steps.
Give her space
Giving her space means not initiating communication nor engaging in personal encounters with your ex. There are times when you might miss her so much that it’s easier to just give in to the temptation to call, but this is something that you should avoid. By giving her space, you allow emotions to cool down so that both of you can start looking at what happened objectively.
Avoid any attempts to communicate with your ex
Refrain from entertaining any attempts to communicate with your ex. It is not impossible for your ex to reach out, even if she initiated the breakup. While it might be tempting to reconcile especially if your ex initiates, this may not be the right time, especially if emotions are high and issues that led to the breakup remain unresolved.
Work on yourself before trying to get or text your ex back
A breakup means that you will have plenty of time for activities that you did not do before, or activities that eventually fell by the side of the road because you were too busy with your relationship. Now that you are single again, you can resume doing things that you love, like taking up a new hobby, going to the gym, taking a trip, and the like. You can also use this time to focus on your career, such as taking related classes that could help you with career advancement down the road. Taking a trip is another great option that will remove you from the places where you are likely to see your ex and is a great opportunity to make new memories without her. Things like these can help take your mind off your ex, widen your social network and help you create a more interesting version of yourself.
You can also use the time off from a relationship to be more social so you can meet new people, gain new friends and even cross paths with potential romantic interests. Finding someone new may be the last thing on your mind right now, but being more social can help you get out of your shell and avoid moments that would otherwise be spent sulking alone at home. Taking the first step towards getting out there and meeting new people may seem like the hardest thing to do, especially if you are still feeling like there’s nothing you want to do but crawl under the covers and stay there forever. However, going out with your friends can end up being more enjoyable than you first thought. All it takes is for you to make the first step.
Reach out by texting your ex
If after three months of zero communication and non-stop self-improvement and she’s still on your mind, it might be time to reach out. Relationship experts suggest keeping it light by reaching out with a text instead of a call. A text is short and casual and you can compose a text so that you sound like the best version of yourself. Reconnecting through a call, especially if you are not prepared, can become messy and emotional and fail to give you the results you want.
Call your ex
If your text to your ex was received with a favorable response and you establish some form of friendly communication, then it might be a good time to call. Ask her if you can do so first. Asking permission is a respectful way of showing her that you are taking her feelings into account every step of the way.
Go on a casual date
If you are lucky, your advances have been met with nothing but favorable responses, which means that your ex could be open to the thought of giving you another chance. If she agrees to go out, choose a location or an activity that is casual and relaxed, such as an art gallery, a movie, a picnic at the park, or an easy hike. This is a great way to reconnect in person in a relaxed environment where there is very little pressure for either of you. Activities like these will likely require you to be actively engaged in something, which is helpful if you want to avoid moments of awkward silence.
If you follow these steps and stick to the timetable, there’s a good chance that you can text your ex back to get them back in your arms. Even if things don’t turn out as favorably as you hoped, you still get out of this experience stronger, wiser, and hopefully with better chances of meeting the right person for you.